SUFFERING

𝑺𝒖𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝑰𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖.

The work here lies in uncovering the source of this repeated behavior, and by association repetitive choice, otherwise we are simply mired in a neurotic cycle.

Sometimes this is an obvious thing - our abused girl has associated love and pain in her definition of relationship and, until she untangles that association, will continue to seek it out.
Sometimes it's not so obvious - a child who was the subject of an unsuccessful abortion (yes, it used to happen pre-Roe v. Wade), or who was actually not really desired by the mother (society obligation, religious obligation, escape obligation, emptiness to fill, etc...) might live in a state of feeling constantly rejected, unloved or unwanted.

Uncovering this Original Wound sources the genesis of the behavior and gives us something with which to work.

• Shifting that awareness from the head to the heart - shifting the knowing of thing into the owning of a thing - is the first step.

• Learning to be present in our lives in such a way that allows us to recognize when we are playing out, or beginning to play out, our "game" or "dance" is the next step.

• Choosing not to make the Original Choice based on the Original Wound is the third step.

• And, finally, sticking to the Alternate Choice is, ultimately, the key to lasting change.

Not sourcing the original wound and remaining stuck can lead us to an experience that can range from passive resignation to pathological mourning.

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